bawl like a baby.

i suffer from what i call "ceremonial sensitivity" which means i burst into tears every single time something traditional and ceremonial takes place. at weddings and funerals i blend in because weeping is appropriate. the fact that my eyes water even in situations when i do not know the couple or the deceased sometimes raises an eyebrow or two, but often i'm just considered fittingly emotional. mind you, in these cases my tears are not driven by subjective feelings of joy or grief, but merely by the ceremony itself.

the tendency is downright embarrassing at other types of ceremonies: i, for example, started crying when i saw the headmaster of my alma mater lead the professors into the university at our yearly opening ceremony. i cry when i watch the president give her new year's speech. i cry at every oration given by somebody's (anybody's!) close family member or friend at any party. the worst, however, are official meetings which follow a strict convention, because my eyes tend to water when semi-ceremonial phrases are uttered, such as "this concludes the matter, let's have a vote?" and people say "aye" in concession.

as much as i love the arts, fashion and music, i am hardly ever brought to tears by them. some music typically used at ceremonies i call psychological warfare, but aside from albinoni's adagio and such, music evokes all sorts of emotion, but never sobbing. this morning changed everything: i guess i've never been pushed with the right combo before.

pelse wrote in his blog that he found a couture show with music by klaus nomi and photography by nan goldin somewhere. if you're unfamiliar with nomi, i cannot but recommend browsing through youtube for his genius. my appreciation of the photos of goldin is, perhaps, unprecedented and i revisited her show at kiasma several times only to love her imagery more. combined with this fall's couture, what could hit the aesthetic spot better than this package. eagerly i googled and was directed to ny times (i was about to miss it, for goodness sake!) and here.

i wept. it's beautiful. go see.