Tuesday, August 28, 2012


two and a half years ago i shaved my head perhaps for the last time.

since then there's been the reappearance of pixie cut, the helmet head, the justin bieber bob and several other stages of growth that sort of went unnoted even by my friends. just recently when i started wearing my hair up and actually doing it, it has been obvious what i am aiming at: a long mane.

moreover, it's been over two decades since my coif was its natural color.

wait, how old does that make me sound, huh?

it was long and black (with a white shaved section on both sides, go figure...) for a brief time about a decade ago, but has mostly been very short throughout my adulthood.

don't get me wrong, but i tend to associate long hair with the sort of timid femininity that i find annoying and, quite frankly, boring. the longer the hair, the more certain i seem to be that there is a serious lack of personality going on.

obviously, my future as a psychologist might fall short because of unjustified generalizations.

another part of me obviously refuses to think that an undercut somehow is a sign of personality or the edgier the hair, the more impressive the quirkiness inside. such evident failures need to be tackled if not just inside my little head. thus, going long and au naturel was the thing i needed to try.

and there are perks:

at shoulder length i am starting to like it. it's a hassle sometimes, but quite a bit of fun to work on. i can actually have it twisted in more ways than one.

moreover, i like the way it allows me to go further into the depths of masculine styles – and have found myself wearing increasingly many garments from the men's department. androgyny has always been a thing i'm attracted to, but personally i need to keep a glimpse of the femme there somehow to balance things out for me.

last, but so definitely not least, it gives me the freedom to stop worrying about whether it is manageable at any given time in the future. there is no root to color, no form that is lost, just a bunch of hair ready to be wrapped up and go. which is mostly what i do.

inke and i going amish.

let's see if i can hold on to the positive note. my goal is still quite far away, but here is where i am at at the moment. freaky, huh?

leather necklace from cos.

Friday, August 24, 2012

fluttering foretaste.

actresses turning singers is a phenomenon that disappoints more often than not, but this particular spark has me eagerly awaiting. the first glimpse and flickering suggest much to anticipate.

there's a particle of light and it makes things right... it just don't behave like a wave.