Friday, December 18, 2009

project chanel.

last night at a xmas party the conversation turned to the issue of working out. the thing is: i don't do sports. period.

i am well aware that i should. i often contemplate the possibility of joining a gym, but remember all too well my last membership: while the monthly fee inconspicuously slipped off my account and my lazy tush hardly ever made it to the place of action, i ended my contract after counting that every single time i actually worked out cost me 120€. and that ain't cool.

the problem is not that i have not found the right type of exercise. i actually enjoy all kinds of solitary sports and i've pretty much tried everything, as well. i just cannot stick to a routine.

i wish it was a s simple as just getting off the couch and walking to the gym. i am a master of self-delusion and can argue myself out of every single decision i make. the more ironclad the promise, the more elaborate my sneaky way out of it. i know myself well and, therefore, any sort of contract-making with myself is futile.

finding motivation for exercise is where i fall. i know a workout provides endorphins and i'd feel more energetic overall. somehow the knowledge doesn't push me since i am pretty happy in my slothful state. i wish i was more vain when it comes to appearance, but seeing hideous pictures only shock me for a second. i know my body is far from perfect, but it's generally ok. hence, i conceal my shortcomings rather than try to fix them – if i was more prone to gaining weight i'd probably stroll around happily in a black, interestingly folded muumuu.

a while ago a friend recommended the gym he goes to and i half-promised to look into joining. the topic has since been raised and dropped so many times that last night i could see the look in his eyes close on desperation, as if "yeah, i know where this conversation will end... she'll say yeah, i should and will look into it and we'll be having the same conversation next month." when you realize your procrastination sounds old and bores your friends, it is definitely time to do something.

thus, we smacked the cat on the table (got to love finnish idioms) and explicitly figured out a plan to motivate me. the perfect idea started in the clever mind of another sports challenged friend: we need a price that's a significant indulgence we have a hard time convincing ourselves entitled to otherwise. moreover, her suggestion of the holy grail hit close to home: a classic chanel flap bag.

the plan was conjured (and recorded) and is as follows.

from january 2010 we both join the gym and must attend at least twice a week. only exceptions accepted are illness and travel. our mutual friend is the official observer and we must inform him after every single visit. he will record our visits in a google-calendar visible to our support teams.

after six months we both are allowed to buy ourselves a chanel flap bag of our choice. the official observer will be given a bottle of champagne whether or not we succeed. there will be a formal party to welcome the two chanels in our families and plenty of toasting. with firm arms.

since rational thinking is not motivating enough, public pressure and a shiny, outrageously expensive new bag might just about do it. that's the kind of airhead i am. i just hope i do not win the lottery before summer because knowing me i'll just buy myself out of this contract as well...

wish me luck!


Sugar Kane said...

Well well well, you go girlfriend! I've promised myself to start - and maintain - regular exercising after moving to Helsinki, I'd love to go back to dance classes, or pilates or whatever. The very minimum is taking up jogging again, I hate my current flabby and flegmatic state.

Salka said...

Onnea päätökselle! Mä itse rakastan lenkkeilyä, sillä munkin salikäynnit tulisivat tod.näk. yhtä kalliiksi kuin sulla aiemmin, mutta jostain kumman syystä lenkkijalkaa ei ole vipattanut syyskuun jälkeen...nyt vain väsyttää, eikä minkään ylimääräisen tekeminen tunnu mukavalta, vaikka aivan varmasti liikunnasta saisikin henkistä energiaa selvitä pimeästä talvesta muutenkin kuin sohvalta käsin nördeillen..

Anonymous said...

Haha, I will join you - but I have to figure out my personal motivator first.

I actually enjoy weight training, and there is lot of good information available, if you enjoy intellectualizing even the sports (well, I do :-S).

I'm also considering getting back to yoga. That is the one and only thing that has had a noticeable, positive impact to my deranged sleeping patterns.

Let's do it (but first I will finish this red wine bottle, thnx)!

Antti said...

Apuaaaa, ei mun katse sentään noin paha voinut olla! Mut siis onnea projektiin :) Virallisena valvojana oon siinä onnekkaassa asemassa että mä voitan sen alkoholin joka tapauksessa, kävi miten kävi! Google-kalenteri on avattu...

stellagee said...

sugar kane, i wish i could just decide like you. or i can, but no action follows from my solemn promises... flabby and flegmatic is a state of mind... hahaa!

salka, kiitos! mä olen joskus lenkkeillyt ja tykkäsin, mutta en saa aikaiseksi. tämä asia on jotenkin käsittämätön, koska yleensä tiedostetut edut aikaansaa ainakin mussa toimintaa, mutta tässä tapauksessa vaan ei... nördeily menee niin pienellä vaivalla. :)

kamicha, welcome and yes, you must figure out what lures you... i also enjoy weight training although i think the reason is mostly because i love the monotonous counting that soothes my mind. an hour at the gym provides something so thoroughly different from my normal mindset that i actually relax while pumping iron. but yes, i would be interested in intellectualizing the process, as well.

some years ago i attended a crazy ashtanga yoga school in turku where our instructor lost track of time and sometimes after four hours i'd walk home gagging from exhaustion. i loved it! after they started a proper yoga school i found it intensely boring and quit.

i wish i had ever stuck with any sports long enough to note overall positive impacts in my life. i guess it takes more than two months – or what's even more relevant in my case, two weeks.

antti, heehee se katse oli just riittävän "paha" että urpokin tajusi. mutta nyt sun onnekas osasi on olla virallinen valvoja eli kuplivan kiilto silmissä sitten vaan tallennat meidän suoritukset... uskomatonta, mutta totta, mun mieleni on jo kehittänyt ajatuksen, etten mä oikeastaan edes halua sitä laukkua... ikuinen sohvaperuna.

inke / issues said...

Voi ei, mulla roikkuu lantion korkeudella sekä flap bag että flab bag. Pitäisi varmaan intoutua kuntoilemaan, jotta ansaitsin jo hankkimani palkinnon...

stellagee said...

inke, tsemppiä! mulla on jo ensimmäinen sessio varattuna ja ohjelma tulossa. bye bye flab bag!

inke / issues said...

Tsemppiä! Itse kävin just vaihtaan huomenna vanhentuvat liikuntasetelit uimalippuihin. Yeah right.. No, yritetään!

Maria said...

I must do this sometime when I have to income...or maybe just replace the Chanel with something more available to me but nooo that wouldn't be an option:DDD Good Luck!

stellagee said...

inke, vähitellen, kato vähitellen... :)

maria, you gotta be choosy with your grail and keep it lavish enough. so far i've had trouble motivating myself even with the chanel in mind... we'll see how this goes.