there are roughly taken two types of personalities when it comes to relating to unexpected little events in normal life: those who plan ahead to avoid uncertainty and those who flow. the former find changes in plans stressful and always like to settle things ahead, the latter go out to find what the day and night might offer.
although no-one is probably strictly one extreme, people's comfort zones usually tilt towards one or the other. i know both kinds, but am definitely of the latter type. i flow, and i enjoy the unplanned to the extent of often infuriating those few people who are planners and who still hang out with me at times. i do make plans but mine are open to changing any minute...
sometimes it is incredibly hard to find a common ground with people who think not wanting to make solid plans is a sign of selfishness or disregard – i find it understandable but difficult to truly grasp since it is not meant to offend anyone, quite the opposite. on the other hand, i love bumping into new or old friends and taking them as part of the group, and often have noted that planners are more rigid with their idea of who can join them at what point of the night and feel almost possessive about company. selfishness exhibits itself in multiple and almost untranslatable forms, i guess.
just so i make myself clear i am not in the habit of failing to show up or leaving people behind because something "better" came up. i also can stick to plans and the prearranged group of people when circumstances so require.
i am not alone with the mentality of the free floater. some social applications, such as foursquare, were created for people just like myself: those who bar or event hop and love to have people join them without the fuss of invitations and meet-ups. once you're in the circle of friends, it's as good as an open call to come join me wherever i may be.
here, as well, the difference in mentality becomes visible: planners often seem to believe that not making the effort of contacting is as rude as butting into strange company, for me staying open is the most polite form of not intruding and assuming anyone wants to hear from me. it's my least obtrusive way of saying: "i'm here if you want to see me." again, the attitude opposition may seem untranslatable.
last weekend was one of those perfect successions of three days and nights when almost all plans evaporated as fast as they emerged, but the crowd stayed happily moving, separating, and uniting from one place to another losing track of the vistas of summertime responsibilities. there were rock shows, after work bubbles, openings, picnics, drag queens and, to top it all off, an eleven hour brunch...
thanks to outi for the diabolic shot of me. jorma wears american apparel to remind certain other types of planners that everyone should have the right to live without fear.
thank you everyone who was there this weekend at any point, any moment. we make such perfect flowers...
what way are you – a flower or a planner?